Sunday, October 2, 2011 - Straighten Up and Fly Right
You may have heard this little modern day proverb – If you believe in nothing, you’ll fall for anything. This is generally
true – and we see it all the time as people without an absolute standard of right and wrong, good and evil, proper and
improper get involved in all kinds of situations that many times the rest of us shake our heads and wonder about their
intelligence. A recent example is the furor caused by Harold Camping back in May about the end of the world. There
were actually followers of Jesus who believed the guy.
Did those people “believe in nothing?” Well, supposedly some of them believed in Jesus. So how did they get sucked
in to this man’s delusions? I will suggest that even though many of them probably had read their Bibles to some extent,
they did not seek the “whole counsel of God.” Many of them forgot the clear words of Jesus that “no man knows the
day or the hour, but only the Father.” So, believing the words of a delusional old man, many of his followers got rid of
their possessions and prepared for the end.
They really did believe in nothing. Taking God’s Word out of context – not looking at what God clearly says, they fell
for something that is easily and quickly discounted. What they thought they believed in, if compared to what the Word
of God clearly says, could have been shown to be off base. But they believed in nothing.
There are others who are anticipating that next year, 2012, will be the end of the world. A lot of those people are
basing their “belief” on a movie. Some are basing their “belief” on ancient soothsayers and mystics. But God’s Word
still says that no one knows when the end will come but the Father. There are certainly things we can look for to help
us know that it is near – the men are studying those things on Wednesday evenings – but to set a date is foolish – and
believing in nothing.
This relates to other areas of life, too. Our culture has lots of opinions about lots of areas of life. And if those opinions
are not rooted in what God says in His Word, the Bible, they are literally nothing. And to hold to those views is to hold
to nothing. The views and values of the world are passing away. The world’s system and values will not last (see 1
John 2:15-17). If something doesn’t last, it is truly nothing. So don’t believe in nothing.
One area where even we, followers of Jesus, get sucked in to the world’s ways of thinking is dealing with marriage and
relationships. We compromise things God clearly says and buy in to what the world around us demonstrates and tells
us. That is foolish – we have GOD’S Word, everything God wants us to know about life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3) at
our fingertips, but we many times ignore or even outright reject it and hold tightly to the world’s view. James tells us
that the person who knows the right thing to do and does not do it is sinning (James 4:17).
Today as we continue in our “Straighten Up and Fly Right” series in 1 Corinthians, we come to another area where the
church in Corinth was showing their lack of maturity and understanding of what God says. And in this case, they had
actually written to the apostle Paul and asked him about marriage – and sex and singleness. So we will go to 1
Corinthians 7 this morning and see what Paul says to them. And, as always, God is not just speaking to them, but also
to us – as we mentioned, we struggle with issues in these areas. As we look into God’s Word, let’s ask for God’s
help. PRAY
I need to tell you that I am in the process of changing the Bible I use to study and preach from. For 13 years I have
used the New King James version. I still like that version, but I have found a version that has as good a translation and
seems to be more understandable in today’s language – it is called the Holman Christian Standard Bible. You don’t
need to go buy one unless you really want to.
We will have a link on our WEBSITE resources page where you can go look at it and even go to ChristianBooks.com
and purchase one. I know some of you have tried to use the version I use – so if you want to do that, you can. We
have no requirements here at Plattsmouth Bible Church for which Bible you can or can’t use – even the NIV. I am just
letting you know that if you have been using the NKJV, you will notice that I am not reading out that one anymore.
Princess Bride
Nothing can compare to the first time you saw that – it was such a goofy surprise. But “mawwaige is what bwings us
togevvah today” in 1 Corinthians. At least some of the issues of marriage that we may have questions about. Turn to 1
Corinthians 7:1. READ.
In some Bibles, part of verse 1 is in quotes. It is possible that the Corinthians had stated this in their letter to Paul – “It
is good for a man not to have relations with a woman.” Maybe this was coming from some in the church family there
who saw what was happening with the man in chapter 5 and knew that action had to be taken. Obviously from what
we have seen so far in this letter, sexual immorality was a problem in this community and in the church. Does that
remind us of any other places? Places like Plattsmouth, Nebraska?
As the church sent this letter and brought up various issues they were dealing with and had questions about, since Paul
had already been dealing with the issue of sexual immorality, he addresses it here. It is good for a man not to have
relations – sexual relations – with a woman. Some versions say “not to touch a woman,” referring to the intimacy of
sex. Other versions say “not to marry a woman.” That may be kind of a stretch of translation – clearly from what Paul
says as he continues and from what he has already said, this relates to the issue of sex.
And the thought of some at least was to avoid sexual contact altogether to keep from sin and live for God. There are
some in our world who still hold that view. But we need to hear what God tells us before we jump in and subscribe
wholeheartedly to that view ourselves. It might seem like a good thing to decide to be celibate, but from what we read
next we should be honest about ourselves before we take that kind of a step. 1 Corinthians 7:2-9. READ.
Verse 2, because sexual immorality is such a disastrous activity and its temptation is so strong, those who think that
celibacy is the answer had better consider their thought life and desires. First, Paul talks about those who are married.
And the comments here are first related to believers who are married. Because of the danger of sexual immorality, a
husband and wife who are believers should NOT avoid sexual interaction. And look at the way Paul – inspired by God
Himself – explains the relationship between husband and wife.
Look at the wording of verses 2 and 3 – it’s important. “Each man should have his own wife.” Latch that on to what it
says in verse 3 – “a husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife.” Whose duty is it? I know we don’t like to think
or talk about these things – especially in mixed company – but God gives it to us here and obviously there are issues to
deal with. Whose duty is it? It is the husband’s duty to fulfill HIS marital duty to his wife. Well, it also says stuff about
the wife, Mike. “Each woman should have her own husband,” and “likewise a wife [should fulfill her marital duty] to
her husband.”
Think about that a minute. Does the husband have permission or a right to demand anything from his wife? Does the
wife have permission or a right to demand anything from her husband? Is demand part of this discussion? The way I
read it – and the way God sees marriage and sex – each of the spouses is to be thinking of the other, not of
themselves. That thought is continued in verses 4 and 5.
As you read those verses, you might get the idea that yes, a husband could demand sexual gratification from his wife
and the wife from her husband. But read it again. 1 Corinthians 7:4,5. READ. The context of these verses is that
each person – husband and wife – should be thinking not of self, but of spouse. Husbands and wives are not in
marriage for themselves. Even in this issue of avoiding sexual immorality. In order to help your spouse resist sexual
immorality, give yourself to him or her – offer yourself.
Answer this question in your head – not out loud. If you had to determine what part each spouse has in making a
marriage work, what percentage would each one have? Not out loud – just think of the numbers. Here is one of those
areas where we get caught up in the world’s way of looking at things when God clearly says something different. And
remember – “trust in the Lord with all your heart and do NOT lean on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).
Many people might say that the husband is to put in 50% and the wife is to put in 50%, and that would lead to 100%.
But would it? Go back to the very first marriage – Genesis 2:22-24. READ. Turn over to Ephesians 5:31 where it is
repeated. READ. The two will become one. Two become one. So in God’s relationship-accounting method, 2
becomes one. One plus one equals ONE. Wait a minute – what about 50% each? Putting this in a formula we can
work with, we would typically think that X + X = 2X. Mrs. Palmer may have to help us here, but under God’s system
for marriage, X + X = X. So if each is putting in 50%, what is the total at the end? 50% + 50% = 50%.
God says that the two shall become one. So to get the right answer, we have to put the right numbers in. 100% +
100% = 100%. That can’t be – the math doesn’t work. Sorry – I hate to give support to many junior high and high
school math students, but the world’s math is WRONG. God’s math is CORRECT – at least as it relates to marriage.
It cannot be “I’ll put in 50% and you put in 50% and we’ll have 100%.” That will come up tremendously short of what
God has in mind – and we see many examples of marriages that come up short. I think it is based often on poor math
skills.
God’s determination of a healthy marriage is one where the husband lives 100% for the wife’s happiness, satisfaction,
comfort and pleasure and the wife lives 100% for her husband’s happiness, satisfaction, comfort and pleasure. This
reminds me of something we did a little series on a few years ago. Love – God’s kind of love – means to seek the best
for the other person no matter the cost to you. This 100/100 view of marriage is a view based on God’s kind of love.
In regard to the sexual part of marriage, in verse 5 Paul recommends that the only time to “deprive” one another would
be if both agree that they need to focus specifically on prayer regarding some life issue – and in that, only for a specified
time. After the prayer time has taken place, renew the fulfillment of one another because of sexual immorality which
may seek any opportunity to find a way in – Satan may tempt your lack of self control.
Verse 6 – 9 reveal Paul’s personal convictions on the matter. If it were up to Paul, every believer would be single and
devote themselves fully to the Lord. Paul was a single man – probably never married and comfortable with that way of
life. But, he says in verse 7, he recognizes that his opinion about singleness is a gift from God, but others have the gift
from God of a spouse.
Verse 9 makes an interesting comment: “if they do not have self control (the unmarried and the widows) – by that he
means in their sexual life – then they ought to get married. If you can’t control those bodily urges, then by all means, get
married. It is certainly better to get married than to not marry and try to control those strong internal drives which
would be further ignited by trying to suppress them.
In the King James verse 9 ends with the word “burn” – it is better to marry than to burn. Many modern versions add
the words – and they may be in italics in your Bible – “with passion.” In context with what Paul has been saying it is
related to the issue of self control sexually. It is better to be married than to try to suppress the sexual urges and be
unmarried – in other words, to burn with passion or desire.
The next section has some statements that could be very discouraging if you have had or are having marriage problems
– especially if you have left the marriage. 1 Corinthians 7:10,11. READ. In this discussion Paul says here in verse 10
that it is not him saying this, but the Lord. And then in verse 12 he will say that it is not the Lord, but Paul saying it. The
fact is that Jesus spoke of the first issue when He was on earth. The issue in verse 12, Jesus said nothing about, so
Paul, under the inspiration of the Spirit of God, gives us what God says in that issue.
Paul speaks to married believers in verses 10 and 11. And he says the wife is not to leave her husband. Look at your
Bible and read verse 10 and then look at the first word of verse 11. The command of the Lord is to not break a
marriage up. BUT God knows that it will happen – and it will happen sometimes for some very serious reasons. We
could go back to Mark 10 and see that Jesus allows for a spouse to leave in the case of unfaithfulness. Paul does not
give the reason it is allowed in 1 Corinthians – although it has to relate to what the Lord Jesus said, because Paul tells us
that this command is from the Lord.
But reading verse 10 and verse 11 together shows us that both Jesus and Paul assume that spouses will leave, so they
make allowance for that. NOT giving permission to leave, but allowance in certain circumstances. And the
circumstances relate to unfaithfulness. What do we mean by unfaithfulness?
Jesus lays it out in relation to adultery of one spouse. If a spouse commits adultery, the other spouse is allowed to get
out of the marriage. Paul gives us a broader definition of unfaithfulness by what he says in verse 11. And the broader
definition relates to the word “reconciled.” If the wife leaves (and from the end of verse 11, this refers to the husband
leaving, too), then she should remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband.
Not too many people in our culture – even in the church – think this way. But this is what God says – remain unmarried
or be reconciled. What might happen, according to God’s Word, if the leaving spouse did one of those two things?
We could make a strong case that it would enhance and expand the purposes of God in the lives of the people
involved. And related to that, it would allow God to do His work best. Plus it would be best for those involved – best
under those circumstances. So, in a difficult situation obviously, God says if you have left the marriage, it would be
more advantageous to God and to you and to your spouse if you remained unmarried or were reconciled.
What is reconciliation? Does an abused spouse have to go back into the abusive relationship? Is that what
reconciliation means? This is where we see more about unfaithfulness. Reconciliation means that the issues that led to
the separation are dealt with in a righteous and godly way and according to God’s purposes. When Jesus died for our
sins on the cross we who believe were reconciled to God – the separation between Him and us was resolved in a
righteous and godly way according to God’s purposes.
If the abuser continues to abuse, there has been no reconciliation. And since God gives us clear and specific insight on
what marriage should look like in Ephesians 5 and in Song of Songs, we know that if one or both spouses in a marriage
refuse to live by those principles, then there is unfaithfulness – unfaithfulness to God Himself, the author of marriage.
And the unfaithfulness filters down through the spouses, too. No one gets married for the purpose of beating up or
verbally destroying or raping their spouse. So to treat the spouse any way other than the design of God is to be
unfaithful to your spouse. If marriage is less than explained in Ephesians 5 and in Song of Songs, it is lacking. And
certainly if marriage is in conflict with those descriptions and pictures, it is lacking.
Reconciliation requires that both husband and wife submit first to the Lord as Master – yield their lives to Him and rank
themselves under Him – and then submit to one another in biblical love – seeking the best for the other regardless of the
cost to self. So if that has not happened, the relationship is not reconciled and the abused spouse is not required to
return.
The next section is fairly self-explanatory. 1 Corinthians 7:12-16. READ. If you are married to a nonbeliever, and that
nonbeliever is willing to live with you, don’t leave them, don’t divorce them. Now there are a couple of things that are
difficult to understand – verse 14 – the unbeliever is sanctified by the believer and the children are holy because the
believer stays in the marriage.
Is that saying that a nonbelieving spouse gets saved because he or she is married to a believer? And is it saying that the
children are automatically saved because there is a believing parent? That doesn’t fit with what we see in the rest of
God’s Word regarding the justification and salvation of sinners.
The sanctification spoken of here is not related to an individual’s salvation, but to the setting apart of the marriage for
God. If there is a believer in the marriage, that believer will set apart the marriage for God’s purposes. The same with
the children – the believer has a godly influence on the children in a way that could not happen if the believer was not in
the home. This does not necessarily produce the salvation of the nonbelieving spouse or of the children, but verse 16
brings up a good question – how do you know it won’t bring your spouse to salvation?
Is this permission for believers to go ahead and marry nonbelievers? No – the assumption is always in the Scripture
that believers marry believers. The case here is that perhaps the husband or wife was married when not a believer and
has since come to faith in Christ. And apparently the question from the Corinthians to Paul was, “Should I remain
married to an unbeliever once I have accepted Christ?” Once again, Paul points out the basis of love in the response –
if the NONbeliever wants to stay, then stay in the marriage.
It doesn’t mean that it will be easy – what fellowship has light with darkness (2 Corinthians 6:14)? When two people
view life from different starting places, it probably won’t be easy. But God says that if the unbeliever wants to stay,
then the believer will have godly influence in the relationship and on their children. If the nonbeliever can’t deal with it,
God says to let him or her go and there is no requirement from the Lord to remain married. Peace and love are the
things that may be most effective in the relationship. And the believer’s response may actually result in the salvation of
the unbeliever – how can you know what God might do through your obedient response? Trust Him.
Devote yourself fully to the Lord, and in every area of your life, He will direct you and care for you from the mundane
to the most important – and even when others don’t see it correctly. Marriage is extremely important in human
existence – God made mankind male and female on purpose and blessed marriage from the beginning. So in marriage,
devote yourself to the Lord – trust God – and then, as always, do what He says.
Do marriage God’s way – if you can’t remain single – and prove that God’s way works. If you’re in a marriage with a
nonbeliever, do things God’s way while trusting God – love your spouse and be at peace with your spouse and God’s
Kingdom will be expanded. Are we flying right in our beliefs in these areas? Are we standing for nothing and falling for
anything?
And one more thing – if you are not yet married, and if you sense the physical urges of the body, then look for the kind
of person as a spouse who will be a faithful partner – trusting the Lord and living under the guidelines of Ephesians 5,
Song of Songs and 1 Corinthians 7. God’s ways work – unless they are not applied.